Andrew Earles

The Now Proposed Track Listings for Just Farr Another Laugh

Posted in Uncategorized by Andrew Earles on June 30, 2005

1. I’m too old to be prank calling retail establishments.
2. Impersonating or referencing mediocre character actors is not that funny. Most people have no idea what you are making fun of.
3. Nothing is sexier than a good idea.
4. Don’t worry; Bleachy is back. A few times, actually. We wanted to insure that this CD would sell more than fourteen copies, so Bleachy is back.
5. Women do not generally appreciate prank calls. I completely understand their reasoning, whatever it may be.
6. Surprisingly funny religious prank call.
7. Not suitable for play. Anywhere.
8. Our hard-on for Isaac Hayes continues. Not for sensitive listeners.
9. Imogene returns, and this time, it’s REAL funny. Relax, the funny points are genuinely funny, not obscure. They will not fly over the heads of those born “more recently.”
10. Ok, so this call, this call here, this one digs deep into pop cultural ephemera. Go ahead and skip over this one.
11. At this point, I’m totally making these titles up. Soon, they will have nothing to do with the corresponding track. Yes, there is a corresponding track, we’ve really recorded a follow-up. Sort of. No pre-orders, please.
12. There are 30 copies of Just Farr A Laugh left in print. Order now. I can’t even remember what this track is supposed to be.
13. This one’s funny.
14. The target of this prank call is no longer famous, and by “no longer famous,” I mean you will have no idea what the fuck we are talking about.
15. Will this be the year for me? Will it?
16. This one’s hyper funny.
17. Does anyone even get this “Party Doctor” character that I’ve been tossing around for, say, two years now?
18. Is Michael Anthony from Van Halen funny? Ok, let’s say he released a solo album called “The Beard Is Back.” Is that funny?
19. Is a Kurt Loder impersonation funny?
20. Shit, I’m not even sure that the new CD has twenty tracks.
21. Uh…BLEACHY IS BACK!!!!
22. I coined the term Afternoon Rock, by the way. I coined it eight years ago in my stupid little zine, AND CHUCK EDDY JUST USED IT TO DESCRIBE A LITTLE RIVER BAND COLLECTION!! I should be more careful with those ranting novellas that I send in every year as my Pazz and Jop picks.
23. Just Farr Another Laugh: Made By Adults!!
24. Just Farr Another Laugh: Guaranteed to be embraced by bands that you’ve never heard of.
25. What am I doing???

Round Two

Posted in Uncategorized by Andrew Earles on June 24, 2005

Since I won’t be making it to DC for the Dinosaur Jr. reunion show (had to dump some money into the vehicle), here’s this link in tribute to my absence.

slices of life,

-A

FW: Attn: Andrew Earles

Posted in Uncategorized by Andrew Earles on June 20, 2005

If this is a joke, it’s funny. If this is sincere, it’s funny. Maybe this person is one step ahead of us all.

I haven’t the slightest idea who coined that little platitude, though it couldn’t be referencing a better piece of mail. See below:

Dear Matt,

I would like to send a package to Andrew Earles. I recently read his
review of Mars Volta and was impressed with his references to Victims
Family, Steve Vai, and Nomeansno. Could you please tell me if the
Chestnut St. address is the best place to send it, or could you forward
this e-mail to him? I think out of anyone, he would “get” this thing.

Thank you,

-Mulch

Here is my signature…

Hello. My name is Sir Millard Mulch. I am sure you know who I am. I am
the author of an exciting new book, called, “How To Sell The Whole
F#@!ing Universe To Everybody, Once And For All!” by Sir Millard Mulch.
I am here to help ALL HUMANS get up to speed on such pressing
philosophical / motivational topics as:

Interplanetary Social-Metaphysics
The Pink Elephant of Truth
The Mutant Power of Social Invisibility
The 12-Fold Pathway To Metacynical Enlightenment
Pseudo-Numerological Business Metaphors
Autoconsumerism
Ed Leedskalnin And The Work Ethic Paradox

In addition, as L. Ron Hubbard did, I also dabble in music. With the
help of some of my dear friends who are famous musicians, I have
created a companion 4-HOUR, TRIPLE-DISC concept album which will be
released on Mimicry Records, which is owned by Trey Spruance of Mr.
Bungle. Some of the wonderful people helping me perform the sounds on
my record are:

1.) Virgil Donati (Steve Vai, Planet X)
2.) Nils Frykdahl (Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Idiot Flesh)
3.) Nick D’Virgilio (Tears For Fears, Mike Keneally Band)
4.) Dave Meros (Spock’s Beard)
5.) Chris Parsons (Estradasphere)
6.) Devin Townsend (Strapping Young Lad)
7.) Morgan Agren (Zappa’s Universe, Dweezil Zappa, Mats / Morgan)
8.) Larry Boothroyd (Victims Family, Hellworms, Saturn’s Flea Collar)
9.) Mark Critchley (Itch, Nomeansno)
10.) Robin Eckman (Good Charlotte)
11.) Paul Mazurkiewicz (Cannibal Corpse)
12.) Lale Larson (Shawn Lane, Electrocution 250)

My Associates, HisCheapMoves and LevelNivelo also helped to co-produce
this Commercial Magnum Opus and it is estimated that WOM023 will sell
over 6 Million Copies Worldwide.

If you want to hear what that sounds like, please listen.
http://www.sirmillardmulch.com/mp3/wom023-preview.mp3 I am in the
business of signing autographed copies of my new book and its companion
soundscapes. If anyone would like to drop me an e-mail, I am always
willing to correspond with like-minded people who are willing to either
Join My Cult or help me in my research.

I don’t know…you tell me.

Posted in Uncategorized by Andrew Earles on June 18, 2005

1. Since 1990, nine full-length albums have been released by Dread Zeppelin, including one titled “No Quarter Pounder.” There are people, somewhere….
2. The Two Live Jews’ four album run ended in 1998 with “Christmas Jews.” Please look at the cover.
3. Another four albums, released between 1987 and 1990, can be found carrying the California Raisins moniker. The third, 1988’s “Meet the Raisins,” boasts 4 out of 5 stars on allmusic.com.
4. Green Jelly/Jello, gave the world 2.5 albums, and a future member or two of Tool.
5. Joe Pesci’s “Vincent Laguardia Gambini Sings Just for You” is a worthy addition to any collection of outsider recordings. Trust me.
6. …and so are these.

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