Andrew Earles

Repost: Another Bad Automotive Idea (edited)

Posted in Uncategorized by Andrew Earles on May 30, 2006

The American Ford Granada of the mid-70’s was perhaps the most unexciting car ever produced. Due to the energy crisis of the time period, there was no shortage of American automotive misfires. The Japanese were about a decade ahead of us, and they enjoyed several years of laughter as we continued to design rolling garbage boxes like the Granada. My father, God rest his soul, was a veteran of both WWII and The Korean War (and no, that does not place me in my late-40’s…I had an old dad). He owned a t-shirt that said: “Toyota, Datsun, Honda….From The Same People Who Brought You Pearl Harbor.” My mother owned a t-shirt in which sunny-side-up eggs were displayed over her breasts. My childhood neighbors owned a Granada, complete with hood perpetually raised and an interior that smelled like a crotch.
Ford must really have a low opinion of you, the buying public. Otherwise they wouldn’t dress up a Taurus and sell it as an entry-level Jaguar. This behavior parallels some bygone design hilarity with the Lincoln Versailles. This is a Ford Granada that’s been cleaned up to help spread STD’s throughout the era’s singles-only communities. Additions included Lincoln’s fake spare tire well, leather, vinyl top that’s sure to shred into the next decade, and two extra headlights. The Granada was a “sensible” (most models came with the 302 V-8) transport for the guy who spent 50 hours a week sticking his arms into dangerous shit, while, you know, those jobs were still around. I have no idea who the Lincoln Versailles was for. That minutely-detailed website should be of interest to those who care. Please scroll to the bottom of this page before you part.

One Response

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  1. jensen said, on June 11, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    No mention of the Mercury Monarch?

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