…to host the final evening of the Hi-Tone’s 10 Year Anniversary weekend. It was by far the best (collective) 20 – 25 minutes I’ve had on a stage in ages. The evening before (Saturday), I DJ’ed the Torche / Coliseum / Clouds show. DJ’ing that sort of show is cake. No “play something we can dance to” or “play some Clash/T.Rex/Jam!!!” etc. I was accompanied for half a set by my friend Dale McNeil, who assaulted the crowd with Striborg and absurdly obscure River City Hardcore (not Copout, before you ask). Meaning, I have no idea exactly what he played. I do have my set list, however, and I’m going to hit you with it, because I can’t think of anything clever to post. Skip it or continue reading and you’ll be awarded a blow-by-blow of last night’s on-stage nonsense.
A combination of my four short DJ sets during the Torche / Coliseum / Clouds show:
(all music is from vinyl…not to be one of those…I rarely DJ anymore, but when I do, no iPod or CD player)
Rapeman “Dutch Courage”
Tragedy “Call to Arms”
Steel Pole Bathtub “The Wasp Jar”
Drive Like Jehu “Turn It Off”
C / Average “Usurper Girl”
Tar “Walking the King”
Coroner “Voyage to Eternity”
Saint Vitus “The Creeps”
Harvey Milk “Down”
Kudgel “I Love You”
Love 666 “You Sold Me Out #2″
Onslaught “In Search of Sanity”
Alice Cooper “Black Juju”
Part Chimp “B1″
Trumans Water “Long End of a Firearm”
UFO “Lights Out”
Jesus Lizard Medley: “Gladiator” / “The Best Parts” / “Glamorous”
Fucked Up “Year of the Pig”
Bad Brains “I Against I”
Agent Orange “Bloodstains”
Black Flag “Best One Yet”
Black Sabbath “Over and Over”
The Bastards “Parade”
I may have skipped some…
The Hi-Tone being the 10th anniversary of a club that’s hosted many shows I’ve attended or spent many hours writing about, I “MC’ed” a show headlined by Magnolia Electric Co. The evening also featured a raffle awarding year-long passes to two lucky attendees. To drum up excitement, I ran down a list of upcoming shows. The (fictional, of course) list included Jack Off Jill, Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine, Ethyl Meatplow, Chainsaw Kittens, The Mentors, and you get the picture. On the 10th or 11th band, I decided to address the woman yelling “Hey!” and standing directly in front of the stage. She looked very normal and appeared to be in her late-30′s.
“Do we have a Dread Zeppelin fan in the audience?” I asked with a smile.
“No…Jack Off Jill….I’m a huge Jack Off Jill fan, are they really playing?!? What date was that?!?”
“Honestly, I made these up. It’s a joke.”
“Not nice words. Those were not nice words.”
“Well, they weren’t mean…I didn’t say anything rude about Jack Off Jill.”
“Not nice words.”
A few minutes later, I watched her exit the front door with a boyfriend/friend/husband. Upon returning to the stage, I finished the list but prefaced this round with, “Ok, I don’t want the crowd to keep shrinking, so I need to know if anyone is a fan of the following….” Badfinger reunion, Chainsaw Kittens, and so on…..
When the list (a long one that I don’t remember verbatim…just like I don’t remember my precise words) came to an end, the same lady was standing in the same spot.
“You’re good….those are fine. You’re safe.”
Other (much more entertaining) moments will be lost in translation and I need to get on with some real work.
Did I really spell “Dolemite” as “Dolomite”…..???? Sorry folks…been buried under a mountain of writing, which is better than being buried under a mountain of pitch-writing. The pitch-writing only amounts to a small pile. I just listened to The Jesus Lizard’s Liar and must say that “Gladiator” holds up…and then some. Wow…that mistake in the previous post. Makes me thankful that the comments section is turned off. On that note: Doing so has shown just how lazy you people really are. It’s not like you have to pack up a box of crap and ride your bike to the post office.
Speaking of the post office, but not really….at all….take a look at this person’s LP collection! With the economy in its current state, who has the money to buy CD’s? Who needs milk? Who needs pet food or diapers? Hey, people that lurk on Craigslist have probably never stepped foot inside a thrift shop, so why not? I’ve got $15 burning a hole in my pocket and don’t feel like dealing with Mexicans whistling at my lady or catching some creepy-crawlies from used boxer-briefs, so I’ll pass on the .50 copy Chicago 17 at The Goodwill.
The 5th Dimension- Age of Aquarius- $5.00
Air Supply(3)- Lost In Love, The One You Love, Now & Forever- $5.00 ea
The Animals- Animal Tracks- $35.00
Atlanta Rythym Section- Rock/Roll Alternative- $5.00
Bobby Bare- This Is Bobby Bare- $10.00
The Beatles- Help!- $10.00
The Beatles- Sgt. Pepper’s..- $150.00
The Beatles- Meet The Beatles- $100.00
Brick- Good High- $15.00
Dave Brubeck The Quartet- Bossa Nova USA- $10.00
Captain & Tennille- Love Will Keep…- $15.00
Captain & Tennille- Song of Joy- $15.00
The Carpenters- Close To You- $10.00
Johnny Cash & Waylon Jennings- Heroes- $15.00
Shaun Cassidy- Da Doo Ron Ron- $15.00
C’est Chic- $15.00
Cher- Cher’s Golden Greats- $10.00
Chicago- 17- $15.00
Nat King Cole- LOVE- $7.50
Natalie Cole- Inseparable- $2.00
Ray Connif- Connif Meets Butterfield- $12.50
Xavier Cugat- King Plays Some Aces- $25.00
John Davidson- Everytime I Sing..- $15.00
Pete Fountain(4)- The Blues, New Orleans, Bateau Lounge, French Quarter- $20.00ea
Freddie & the Dreamers- Frantic Freddie- $6.00
Vern Gosdin- If You’re Ever Gonna…- $10.00
Merle Haggard(2)- Okie From Muskogee(live), Pride In What..- $15.00ea
Hall & Oates- Private Eyes- $5.00
Herman’s Hermits- Introducing Herman’s Hermits- $5.00
Thelma Houston- Any Way You Like It- $5.00
Isley Bros- Go For Your Guns- $6.00
Michael Jackson- Ben- (Rat on Bottom of Cover)- $45.00
Waylon Jennings- Only the Greatest- $12.50
Waylon Jennings- Dreaming My Dreams- $3.00
George Jones- Anniversary 10 Yrs of Hits- $15.00
Tom Jones- This Is Tom Jones- $6.00
The Judds- Wynonna & Naomi- $8.00
Carole King- Tapestry- 6.00
Kris Kristofferson- Me & Bobby McGee- $3.00
Huey Lewis & The News(2)- Sports, Fore- $8.00ea
Lovin Spoonful- Do You Believe In Magic- $15.00
Barry Manilow- This One’s For You- $5.00
Barry MAnilow- Greatest Hits- $10.00
Barry MAnilow- One Voice- $8.00
BArry MAnilow- Live- $10.00
Barry Manilow- Even Now- $6.00
Barry Manilow- Greatest Vol. 2- $6.00
BArry MAnilow- Tryin To Get THe Feeling- $5.00
Mantovani(2)- Music From The Films, Film Encores,- 15.00ea
Johnny Mathis- Swing Softly- 15.00
Paul McCartney(Wings)- At The Speed Of Sound- 5.00
Mel McDaniel- Naturally Country- $15.00
Ronnie Milsap- Keyed Up- $5.00
The Monkees- Pisces Aquarius…- $30.00
The Monkees- Headquarters- $15.00
The Monkees- THe Monkees- $12.50
Billy Mure- Fireworks- $40.00
Night Ranger- 15.00
Oak Ridge Boys- Greatest HIts 2- $5.00
The Osmonds- Live- $8.00
Parliament- LIve/P. Funk Earth Tour- $20.00
Boots Randolph- Greatest Hits of- 10.00
Charlie Rich- THe Silver Fox- $6.00
Jeannie C. Riley- Harper Valley PTA- 20.00
Kenny Rogers- Greatest Hits- $4.00
The Rolling Stones- Black & Blue- $5.00
The Romantics- In Heat- 15.00
Soupy Sales- Sez Do The Mouse…- 12.50
Simon & Garfunkel- Bridge Over Troubled Water- 3.00
Paul Simon- Still Crazy After..- $9.00
Bruce Springsteen- Born IN The USA- $5.00
Barbra Streisand(3)- Wet, The Way We Were,My Name Is Barbra 2- 10.00ea
Survivor- When Seconds Count- $15.00
Tears For Fears-Songs From The Big Chair- 15.00
Three Dog Night(2)- Comin Down …, Suitable For..- $6.00ea
Tanya Tucker- LOve Me LIke…- $5.00
Conway Twitty(3)- Mr. T, Cross Winds, Southern Comfort- $6.00ea
The UNion Gap- Woman, Woman- $15.00
Gino Vanelli- Storm At Sunup- $5.00
Billy Vaughn(3)- Theme From A Summer PLace, La Paloma, Golden Inst.- $15.00ea
Baron Von Listz- Strauss Waltzes- $15.00
Don Williams(3)- THe Best Of Vol 2, Visions, Listen To THe Radio- $6.00ea
THe Jazz Singer, Neil Diamond- $8.00
Saturday NIght Fever- $7.00
THe Apartment- $20.00
LP’s Without sleeves
JImi Hendrix- Smash Hits- $2.00
Elvis Presley- GI Blues- $20.00
Like you and the neighbor’s dog, I was drastically moved by my first ever viewing of Dolemite (1975) at age 20. That was in the early-90′s, in case reader(s) were wondering. Everyone has a film that solidified a growing appreciation for complete garbage, and this is mine. The clearly improvised “cuttin up the carpet an’ shit” line still brings a smile to my face. For some (not me…and here’s proof), Dolemite introduced the concept of what Tom Scharpling calls “awfulsome.” A still-nurtured love of so-bad-it’s-good cinema is something I share with people that are very clever, as well as those that are very stupid. It’s there, and I have no desire to abandon an unintentional form that I might have utilized in specific ways. A note before we continue: The Dolemite sequel, The Human Tornado (1976) makes its predecessor look like K-Pax (1). A reliably ridiculous place to start.
In late ’96, I attended a Rudy Ray Moore appearance at a now long-defunct black nightclub known as The Aristocrat. I went with Andria Lisle, who was my friend and at the time, my co-worker at Shangri-La Records. We did not get comp tickets. We were the only white people in the crowd, and where better to sit when you’re the only white people in the crowd? Front and center, my friend.
Taking aim directly at our table, Moore fired A LOT of racist (oh, I’m sorry, I mean “anti-white”) jokes with unwavering eye contact. One of them went something like, “When they make me president, I’m not going to kill all ya’ll….[terrifying pause with me swiveling around in my seat and laughing it off to an unresponsive crowd]….I’m gonna need someone to work in the kitchen!!” The crowd, ourselves included, exploded with laughter.
The show closed with, of all things, an open-mic fiasco. No, I did not. Other men did, though, and one in particular stands out in my mind. He was dreadfully nervous in an oddly enthusiastic manner, middle-aged, and dressed in Applebee’s/Outback Steakhouse/Kawasaki Crotch-Rocket duds (this is a Southern thing, sorry), and probably spent an amount equal to or greater than his 401K at Isaac Hayes’ Hot Buttered Soul, later “Isaac Hayes’ Reloaded,” restaurant and music venue (until it closed a few years before Mr. Hayes’ untimely, Memphis-shattering demise). He bumbled and stuttered through the single-line buildup.
“You wanna know how, uh, hahaha, uh, er, you wanna know how my boss….hehehehe, uh, er, you wanna know how my boss is like a pimple?”
A resounding “HOW?!?!?!?” almost interrupted him in the middle of “pimple.”
“Cuz, hahahaha, sssssspppppphhhhhhhzzzzzzzeeezzzzz, er, cuz, uh, cuz he’s, um…..CUZ HE’S ALLLLLWAAAAAAAAYYYYYYZZZZZ ON MY AAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
And the crowd loved it!
On our way out, we visited the merch table. At this point, I feel as though a reminder must be issued, so, uh, hahaha, er, here it is:
This was 1996.
$20 secured a non-autographed 8″ by 10″ glossy of Rudy. $40 got you an 8″ by 10″ touched by the man himself. For a scant $10 extra, fans could get their picture taken with the man that was once believed to be an investor in white women (by a very small segment of 70′s America).
Let’s take a break to visit reality for a spell.
Without a doubt an important entity in the grand scheme of comedy and most assuredly one of the many 60′s and early-70′s creators of something that would inform (but not write the whole fucking script, people) hip-hop, Rudy Ray Moore’s influence on pop-culture could nonetheless be understated a tiny bit. He was not a brilliant comedian like the future lightning rods he influenced. He did not have the whiplash pace nor the heartfelt, self-effacing wonder of Pryor (2), even when compared to Pryor’s questionable career pauses. Yep, apples and oranges, but I’ll take Pryor or Cosby over R.R.M. any day of the year. I could care less how early he dropped the f-bomb. Cosby’s cleanest endeavor (as a stand-up) is infinitely more interesting than album after album of Moore’s limited form of issuing the laughs.
I mean no disrespect. This guy’s movies, to some degree, changed my life. I just don’t want the accolades to get out of hand or the discography and other creative endeavors to suddenly become funnier than they actually are because Rudy Ray Moore, the man that one LP title hilariously calls “Another Crazy Nigger” (in reference to one of my favorite Pryor LP’s), is no longer eating out.
1. Since writing that, I’ve embraced the logic that K-Pax is the wrong example for this tired humor device.