Andrew Earles

A predictable “Hall of Greatness” entry for Sunday afternoon or What Happens When I Can’t Think of An Entertaining Post

Posted in Uncategorized by Andrew Earles on November 30, 2008

I’ve had all the playground abuse one man can take!! It all stems from some quiet yet unapologetic excitement over the Jesus Lizard reunion and 100% of it can be traced, mainly through 1,831 soul-erasing/waterworks-inducing e-mails, to a shall-remain-unnamed Jason and the Scorchers/Olds 97’s fan that happens to also be a close friend. Going so far as to show up at my door (while I was in the middle of stuffing 10,000 envelopes for a non-profit, pet rescue organization…for no fee) void of a shirt but donning dirtied-stiff Levi’s 501s with the button-fly open, allowing the act of “hanging brain” (to recognize this slang, readers must possess brain to hang and a fond remembrance of 7th grade and/or a front row position at a JL show). Let’s take a look at some internet scuttlebutt:


Brooklyn Vegan

Ultimate Axe


Wait a sec…these things all read the same!!! Oh well, I still have some questions: Will the Pure EP be included as bonus material? Did I even read those things? Will I ever feel good about (recently…ssshhh!!!) purchasing a used copy of the major label “huh?” album, Blue, for the sole purpose of “having something to listen to in the car” during a 6+ hour drive back to Memphis from Atlanta/Athens? My girlfriend and co-pilot: “Still kicking in ’98, huh?”

…and now for the CLIMAX!!!

The Jesus Lizard HALL OF GREATNESS!!! (no order)

1. “Pastoral”

2. “7 Vs. 8″

3. “Gladiator”

4. “Blockbuster”

5. “Glamorous”

6. “Elegy”

7. “Mouth Breather”

8. “Monkey Trick”

9. “The Best Parts”

10. “Monkey Trick” (live version from Bang)

11. “Cold Water”

12. “Boilermaker”

13. “The Art of Self-Defense”

14. “Zachariah”

15. “Whirl”

No science…feel free to argue with a list I compiled in 30 seconds.





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3 Responses

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  1. Patrick said, on December 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    Before “thumbscrews,” I never got the Jesus Lizard thing, maybe because every proto-SaddleCreek band in Lincoln were OBSESSED WITH THEM during the early mid ’90s. Everyone sounded like them, or at least too much like them for me, (I was a big ’80s-obsessed artfag and really mad that I’d missed the era of nunsexmonkrock and devo.) But it was BAD in Omaha and Lincoln, every punk show at Knickerbockers was some Jesus-clone band, with gory punk posters featuring gory industrial farm accidents. Anyway, we were in yet another “why don’t you admit Jesus Lizard is the most awesome band ever?” conversation, and somebody played “Thumbscrews” and I had to admit, I really loved the song, and soon realized I loved anything with a really obnoxious distorted slide guitar in it. Butthole Surfers, White Zombie, Teenage Jesus and the Jerks — the more spastic and shrill the slide, the better. So I really like Thumbscrews, and still listen to it occasionally. Also, I saw JL at Lolapalooza, around 3pm in a miserable midwestern heat wave, and most of the show was dominated by fans trying to get Yow to expose himself. He didn’t, but he kept acting like he was about to, and it seemed like some sort of Lizard-fan ritual was taking place.

  2. monty said, on December 3, 2008 at 12:53 am

    I wouldn’t leave off:

    ‘Wheelchair Epidemic’
    ‘Seasick’ (Esp. the live version off Bang)

    Is ‘Deaf As A Bat’ the closest they got to sounding like Scratch Acid?

    Hadn’t pulled out a Jesus Lizard record in a long time, they have aged really well…

  3. Kristin said, on December 3, 2008 at 11:53 pm

    They were easily one of the top 5 of the early 90’s live shows. Each and every one I went to from 91 through 93 was crazy and threatening and violent and fucking fun. I don’t remember much about 94 except that in brilliant violence JL was topped by The Ex and Tom Cora at the Lounge Ax when coffee mugs started being lobbed back & forth from band to crowd. Well, “lobbed” is too easy a verb.

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