I have been working all week on my first “PIFSPRHC” (PAY IT FORWARD STIMULUS PACKAGE for the RECORD-HOARDING COMMUNITY) campaign, in which at least 800 – 1,000 records have been purged from my collection. But wait, the best part is coming up:
There will be two prices: $1 and $5…
The great majority of my records would cost you anywhere from 3x to 10x the stickered price. Many of the $5 records will run you $15 to $20 or more…ANYWHERE ELSE!! Also, re: the $5 records…once you break the $30 barrier (and trust me, you will break it, or the person BEHIND YOU IN LINE WILL BREAK IT!!!)…each LP drops to $4 a pop. Let me repeat that…
If you have more than six $5 LP’s in your pile, each ($5) LP after that becomes a $4 LP.
This is the only type of discount I’m comfortable with, so count your shit up accordingly, and let’s do business. Flip beyond the third or fourth $5 LP, and you’ll notice that a closing haggle will be pointless. I’ve already done the haggling for you, right here, alone in my apartment, purging the Conrad Bain Of My Existence.
A note to the other record merchants participating in this record-hustler’s competition: None of my $1 and $5 records are meant as a “spoof” or “parody” of the (sometimes identical, otherwise) logically-priced fare offered at your table(s). Also, feel free to chuckle and murmur amongst yourselves about how I’m “being taken” or letting things go for insane prices…I won’t be able to hear you above the rapid-fire exchange of money for goods occurring at my perpetually-three-to-four-people-deep table!
MAY THE BEST MERCHANT WIN!!
THIS WILL TAKE PLACE AT SHANGRI-LA RECORDS, SUNDAY NOV. 1st
1916 MADISON AVENUE, MEMPHIS TN 901-274-1916
Like you care. Like other aspects of life, I’ve let this blog go to shit…something I never believed myself capable of. NO MORE!
Seriously, no one wants ANYTHING I have listed on my SALE page (to the right…records)? Do I need to drop the prices? Add some more? I’ll add some more.
Excellent, positive reinforcements that have graced my turntable:
Bird By Snow “Songbread” / “Another Ocean” LP
Enemymine – “Ice In Me” LP ($3.99….last weekend)
….and I got two Dambuilders records this week. The “Tough Guy Problem” 10″ (untouchable) and their first major label LP from ’93? ’95? ’94? Amazing stuff and still obtainable on eBay for peanuts!
Giving me the latest reason to wipe the cobwebs from the portfolio…
All four of my readers are required to purchase Queen: The Ultimate Illustrated History of the Crown Kings of Rock for a go-to/in-a-pinch X-mas present. Why? Well, my 1,000-word essay on Queen 2 appears in these pages, and David Dunlap Jr gives similar treatment to Flash Gordon. N0, we don’t get any royalties for our respective 2% of content, nor does our journo-reunion make any part of this book seem like an issue of The Cimarron Weekend, but I for one can always use a thin-to-thick representation of my name across the writing world. Great things happen in strange ways! (ex: to other people)
The Minneapolis/St. Paul Star Tribune recently ran THIS article on Grant Hart and I get a mention towards the end.
Also, did you miss the post re: my liner notes accompanying the reissue of the Strapping Fieldhands’ Discus? It’s two or three posts back, or maybe just one, which means I made it a month ago. What is wrong with me? Time to step it up, Earles.
Last and certainly least, I’m selling a lot of records. Check out that page to your right…the one about selling records. The list has been updated! My last customer was none other than Karl Hendricks of the stupidly-overlooked Karl Hendricks Trio. He purchased an “orig” of R.E.M.’s Murmur and Gaunt’s Sob Story. The latter I’m sort of kicking myself over, but there will be no guilt trips over any item on the new list. All of it must vacate the premises!
I was actually going to make a post last week that promised DAILY CONTENT on this blog. Folks, I have a book draft to do some serious catching up on, so back off. I suppose the nose can be momentarily removed from smelly Option back-issues and a certain section of my library that is literally in tatters.
Wow, I sure do despise these charlatan “record people” that have popped up in the past year or two. Thanks Record Store Day! Most are older and just as clueless as the last 21-year-old art-school shithead that listened to No New York in its entirety (talk about a record I can go the rest of my life without ever hearing again). Watch with conflicting feeling of horror and delight at God-Squad owners of used CD outlets begin their autumnal love affair with vinyl. Sure, I’ll be glad to pay the $69.99 for that original of C.O.C.’s Animosity that some dipshit is hoping to get on Amazon.com, just because said LP was “not in the book.” Oh, no one on Discogs is selling it in the states? Only UK sellers? Well, it’s most assuredly “an import” deserving of your default “import” price of $100. You’re the expert. After all, you just deemed Crass’ Penis Envy “Indian Music”, so what do I know? Get fucked…that’s what I know.